Monday, December 3, 2012

2012 December - Day 161: Adrenaline character (Part Five)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the experiencing of more than one person bullying me with fear and situation of only one person bullying me with less or maybe even no fear, because if I put myself in the role of the person who is bullying, I would be way less self-confident and brave if I would go bullying someone else on my own, rather to do that in a group, because if the person who is bullyed fights back, I feel less afraid if I am inside of the group, because we as a group can easier win the fight.
I commit myself to have this paragraph in mind in case of being bullied on the streets by only one person and thus NOT feel inferior in the situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be depressed/frustrated because I can not run at the moment because of being physically weak, so if the bandits bullying/hurting me would run after me, they would probably catch me and beat me to some further extent.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be depressed/frustrated because I can not obtain physical condition, because I have higher heart beat, due to the medication I consume on daily basis.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for being weak and not a good runner, instead of realising that not all physical forms can do all physical things.
When and as I see myself creating the feelings of depression/frustration, I stop and breathe.
I realize that I only sabotage myself with this act of percieving self as self-judgement and at the same time I realize that I create that depression and frustration myself and myself only, so I can stop it any time I want to and at the final stage remove it from my mind.
I realize that the feelings fo depression and frustration are irrational, unnecessary and of system in design and as such only burden me, keep me away from myself and separate me.
I commit myself to stop the feelings of depression/frustration inside of me because of being physically weak and can not run, and can not even obtain physical condition and so commit myself avoiding to participate in self-judgement and thus sabotage myself through this self-created feelings of depression/frustration and remain stable and aware in every moment in presence.
I commit myself to concentrate on the things I CAN do, rather than focusing on my inabilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid that bandits would beat me to the ground and kick me in the head and thus heavily injure me and I haven't seen, realize and understood that this fear is coming from a past memory experience which I stored within and as me and thus, i forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that when and as i see someone that I perceive as a bully, I activate the memory from the past, of being bullied and an experience of fear is coming up from within me.
When and as I see myself creating the fear of being beaten to the ground, I stop and breathe.
I realize that this fear is irrational, unnecessary and of system in design and as such only burdens me, keeps me away from myself and separates me.
I commit myself to disintegrate the connection between being bullied on the streets and the fear of bandits beating me to the ground and I commit myself to deprogramme this fear, understanding that I have created it myself and can thus stop it and in the final stage remove it completely from my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being beaten and consequently heavily injured or being beaten to death and I haven't seen, realize and understood that this fear is coming from a past memory experience which I stored within and as me and thus forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that when and as I see someone that I perceive as bully, I activate the memory from the past, of being bullied and an experience of fear is coming up from within me.
When and as I see myself creating the fear of being beaten and consequently heavily injured, I stop nad breathe.
I realize that this fear is irrational, unnecessary and of system in design and as such only burdens me, keeps me away from myself and separates me.
I commit myself to disintegrate the connection between being bullied on the streets and the fear of being beaten and consequently heavily injured and I commit myself to deprogramme this fear, understanding that I have created it myself and can thus stop it and in the final stage remove it completely from my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being injured and I haven't seen, realize and understood that this fear is coming from a past memory experience which I stored within and as me and thus forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that when and as I see someone that I percieve as bully, I activate the memory from the past, of being bullied and an experience of fear is coming up from within me.
When and as I see myself creating the fear of being injured, I stop and breathe.
I realize that this fear is irrational, unnecessary and of system in design and as such only burdens me, keeps me away from myself and separates me.
I commit myself to disintegrate the connection between being bullied on the streets and and the fear of being injured and I commit myself to deprograme the fear which I stored within and as me, understanding that I've created this fear myself and can thus stop and in the final stage remove it completely from my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of experiencing pain.
When and as I see myself creating the fear of pain, I stop and breathe.
I realize that pain has its function concerning human physical body, that is the safety function, preventing an indivitual to engage in the activities that would potentially harm the human physical body.
I commit myself to stop being afraid of pain, because I understand that if I would be exposed to too much pain, my body would trigger the reaction of fainting and thus 'avoiding' to experience too much of the disturbing pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of death, that is losing myself and ceasing to exist.
When and as I see myself creating the fear of death, I stop and breathe.
I realize that death denotes only the ceasing to exist physically, but still remaining Here and Now, thus this fear being completely unnecessary and irrational, preventing me to remain Here in breath.
I commit myself to stop being afraid of my own death and stay stable and aware in every moment in presence.

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